Category:ATX Crew

From OTwiki

ATX crew discusses all things Austin and University of Texas sports. Lebaron LX generally preside over these threads.

Probably the second best of the OG OT Crews. 2 Week threads typically go over 200 pages and are filled with titties, nigger jokes and more titties. Vagina is noticeably lacking in this crew, but there is usually drama in abundance. Also heavy populated by LSx crew.

Crew thread is best viewed with Charles on your ignore list.

ATX. We know drama.

[edit] Notable Members

KDubb, owner of OT - goes through vehicles like toeshoes goes through round rock doughnuts. Made OP to RP conversion. Openly gay with Ace3.
Borborygmus Famous for www.aww-kittah-aww.com and playing evel knievel on the weekends. His distaste for beer and goat cheese leaves his sexuality in question.
Joe Somebody - R Kelly is his nigger so he likes girls young. Loves the Riata burger.
Pvt. Joker - hates everything except big nattys, Lonestar, and Riata burgers. Will live in the woods with a Mark Walberg "Shooter" beard within a year. Probably trolls his wife harder than he trolls retarded OTers.
Redsky - posts package pics and deadlifts 20 stone. Identifies with colored folk because of his love of excellent in jazz, dance, athletics, and not growing up in Philadelphia. Does not actively chase, but always ends up with, big breasted women. Has seen DDikembe's nipple piercing because he's "like a girl."
Adrenaline - cracks nigger skulls for a living
TonyToca- ATX crew member with the most frequent flyer miles. A mystery wrapped in an enigma. The Kayser Sose of the ATX crew
chrislehr - is a dumb troll and dates high school girls with 12 year old boy bodies. Tells everyone about the cherry tat on davina's twat
Dr. Hellraiser - punchisizes faces first and asks questions later. Loves beers and boobs.
BigBronco - engineers all sorts of shit. Has a slew of vagina at his disposal
UNvisible - races ~~oversized go-carts~~ Mazda Miata MX-5's for a living. Once skinned his knuckles in a wreck at Talladega. Doesn't understand how DrHellraiser and BigBronco get women, because they're fat.
Dave95GT - pours out his Mickeys 40 ~~when no one is looking~~ (broadcasts that shit) and fills it with miller light
Bolix - A.K.A. Mr. Vain A.K.A. Mr. Vein A.K.A. Does that sweater come in a D-neck? :naughty:. Famous for his love for hideously disgusting girls, ie "ratdog". Nor did he intend to.
Euclid537- mentor to JohnnyBeagle and kittah crew member. Also fucks bitches and pretends to get money.
TankRizzo - although he's only there for his OP DDavinaem
BROKE- Accidentally his whole LS1
Westside - renigger/indian giver
SilverTurtle Come on ride the train...it's the choo choo train. Also a proud member of the big titty committee aka Big Nattys Crew
dmora - used to have a Supra, bangs married chicks, is 28 but lives the life of an 18 year old
kendan - sucks at beer and changing oil
Asphalt Surfer - Pvt. Joker minus 5 years of hatred for mankind. Also, once took a shot in the junk from his wife that made him sterile.
clifton23 - Was once used as a slampig by 5 gentlemen of nigger descent. On video. 7 times.
feetball - once killed a Jew and hid the body under a preschool jungle gym. He received the Pvt. Joker award for such actions
eelliss- Inked up asian, ex-wife looks like a pornstar, has a cute kid, baby's momma now in jail.
Dixie - expertly wrong on every subject
patrickd - swamp gook postbot with abnormally small penis. LebaronLX's current AE.
giantgreenhead - member of the saturday afternoon beer club which makes him better than 75% of the rest of atx crew
uther10 - Filmed "The clifton23 Gangbang 6: Hot Horny Cumdrinkers." His interviews included in the special edition have been critically acclaimed as the best porn interview in recent history.
smellslikeshitgoddam - Noted as the guy who flicked the cigarette in the alley way next to the blind pig pub, causing it to burn down.
Fenix - Gay for Dev. Likes sweaty man-yoga
Brandonlw - Not really notable at all, except for fighting an entire fire brigade with Pvt. Joker.
vicente del bosque aka robbeh - newest to the crew will update with classics later.

[edit] Honorary/Retired Members

LebaronLX- Lost a permaban UT bet with Kenny. Made 11ty billion AEs and finally gave up.
BlueadderGTP- Moved to nawleans
AQT4U2NV - Went to LA to become a lawyer. Got fat. Again. Dates BlueadderGTP.
JohnnyBeagle - moved to Dallas crew without actually being in Dallas.
toeshoes - Huge beast of a woman and also huge attention whore. Once posed as her husband Jay while banned in order to gain sympathy

[edit] Historic Events

Chrislehr was married in an Irish Pub. For cereal.

Pvt. Joker moved to ATX, immediately became nigger-rich and decided to semi-retire.

The Pontoon Incident

Nickos was in Houston on an all inclusive vacation in exchange for sexual favors to Alpha, the two decided to drive to Austin, TX for the weekend to see a concert, hang out with LebaronLX and play on the lake for a day.

They invited a few other OTers to come along; KDubb, Dmora, LebaronLX, Tigerlilly, and Morter Forker come to mind. Towards the end of the day, many drinks were consumed and it was time to go back to shore and return the rented pontoon boat.

Jugglenuts took it upon himself to drive the pontoon back to shore, Fired up the engine, slammed down the throttle and slammed into the front of a high performance speed boat. Thankfully the speed boat was unharmed but the old balding fuck that was laying in it wearing a fucking banana hammock jumped up and wanted to kick Jugglenut's ass, we should have let him. The aluminum siding on the pontoon was dented up to shit and creased and generally fucked.

Drunk as we all were, we decided to hang a towel over the dented up shit and just return the pontoon hoping they wouldn't see it, lol, didn't work. $600 repair bill had to be paid on the spot. Alpha paid for it up front, Jugglenuts was supposed to pay her back but i think he only paid her about $60.

For some reason Tigerlilly busted out in tears and started screaming at Alpha, Alpha started crying too because she was like WTF, and I was getting hard thinking I could bang the both of them in the back of the Tahoe and make em really cry... Anyways, the license plate said fresh and had dice in the mirror blah blah blah.

The Calcutta Viper

One of the guys I work with is a chubby Indian guy named Balu. We've been going to lunch breaks together (usually Subway), and today he said he had to get something out of his car and I walked with him to the parking garage. As we walked up, he gave me an odd look and when he unlocked the door to his new to him Bimmer, he demanded that I "get in." It was almost like a master giving a command to his dog. I usually don't like people telling me what to do like that, but for some reason when Balu said it, I got a massive erection. I didn't really want to get into his car because I was pretty hungry and didn't want to waste my lunch break on whatever drama he was about to talk about, but I didn't want him to see my erection, so I took a seat anyway. I asked him what was up, and he said he needed some advice from me. "What do you need advice about?" "Well," he said. "I've got a crush on a coworker and I don't know how to deal with it." I laughed a little, cause I've been there before. "I understand how that goes, but let me tell you, it never ends well." "Oh?" "Yeah." "Well," Balu continued. "I think it will end pretty well this time?" "Why do you say that?" Now he had me thinking. "Because it's going to end with you having the best orgasm of your life." I was confused and shocked for a few moments, and that's when the Calcutta Viper struck. Before I knew what was happening, I had his dark brown hands in my pants, and I was biting my tongue not to scream in the car. Before long, he had my entire pipe in his mouth, and he wasn't lying. It was the best pie I've ever creamed. I lasted maybe 20 seconds before begging him to return the favor. "What do you want," I panted. "I'll do anything for you." Balu couldn't help but smile the biggest smile I've ever seen. He grabbed my hair at the back of my head and whispered sternly, "Now it's time to eat my curry." He ripped his pants off and fed me his dirty asshole and I ate every bite. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted; like a mix of dirt, burnt plastic, and rotten meat. And yet, it caused my dick to once again explode into a 90 degree angle. We finished our lunch break wiping each other clean with some old 7-11 napkins from his glove box.

Originally written by the late KDubb about JohnnyBeagle

[edit] Notable MS Paints

		The magical fairy who comes in the middle of the night and leaves single black pubic hairs on the outer rims of toilet seats and urinals.	Pvt. Joker's method of masturbation at age 13....the virtual blowjob. Step 1: cut mouth out of woman in magazine Step 2: insert cock through hole Step 3: reach behind magazine and jerk off
Joker's interpretation of the infamous picture of Phantom Empress's tied up nattys