Category:UK crew
From OTwiki
The United Kingdom mob. Often found spouting words such as cunt and fanny flaps around the forum. Known for their sense of humour, bad teeth and good TV. They will often have a major thread in the main forum that gets locked after a while and reappears not long after.
UK crew members can read each others' minds.
UK crew member Mondaynightmike is an asshole with a small cock which he frequently overrates. Plus his chick has a huge chin.
[edit] Members
An Introduction to the Common and Lesser Species Found In The British Isles
by Professor S. Heepshagger, BSc, MA, STD, VD, DVDA
Turbo (welshus cuntus)
Known for its constant harping on about all things Welsh. Likes sheep, dressing as a pirate and leering at women. Bullshit factor = high
Shifty Bloke (shiftorimus alcoholicae)
Passes self off as hard-working when the rest of the natural world knows it does fuck-all. Fast acquiring reputation as company drunkard. Identifies itself through inebriated voicemail communication. Takes a mate of exceedingly young age; not embarrassed in the slightest by this somewhat disgusting act.
mondaynightmike (shaggit maximus)
Known for its extreme sexual activity, often towards other creatures of the same gender. Often found lurking outside female club toilets, attracts its targets through the use of brightly-coloured plumage and heavy drinking. Estimated lifespan is short however, due to undoubted presence of many sexual diseases.
Balddog (stalkerii orientalus)
The Balddog flits between Britain and its usual Eastern shores whenever the authorities appear to be closing in on it. Famous for its unwavering attraction to young females native to its Korean abode. Keeps both head and scrotum as shiny as possible, so as to confuse and entrap its prey.
drjamima (yanki abroadum)
Late addition to the popular flora and fauna of southern Britain. Has eked out somewhat of a Jekyll-and-Hyde existence, preferring to remain quiet and studious in the daytime. Transforms however into a drunken, sex-crazed beast when the sun sets. Dark horse factor = off the scale The drjamima has returned to its native lands for the moment, but keen spotters are sure to find it returning to Britain some time in the future.
Ancoats (citius fanaticum)
Unflinching commitment to frequent sporting events around the country. Subject seems to have an affinity for light blue plumage. Can be identified by its mating call: "CITTTTTTEEEEEEHHHHH" Specimen Ancoats is genetically predisposed to being extremely small. Regularly demonstrates an alarming propensity to engage in intercourse with mingers.
Dogz (moderato northerna)
Specimen is known for its propensity to steal telephones from its place of work. Develops maturity onset tattoo disease - entire body eventually becomes covered in strange artwork. Likes: rugby, bitter, pies, beating up female relatives Dislikes: anything living south of yorkshire
Rizla (guitara spliffus somersetum)
Species guitara spliffus somersetum can be tracked via its abominable faecal odour. To catch the Rizla, one must use a combination of sambuca, jagermeister and cheap lager as bait. Its arrival is preceded by strumming of guitars and screams from adoring public. Often seen driving combine harvesters.
Mikey d uk (paintballa ninjae)
Can be viewed in its natural habitat of Birmingham's dodgiest nightclubs. Neutralises prey with double-tap ball of paint to forehead. Likes dressing up in ninja camouflage.
Dazmanultra (frenchina failsexae dazzius)
Undeniable obsession with frenchies and bagels. Spends saturday night luring women back to its lair to show them its projector. Can be seen most nights trying to sweet-talk its way into London's poshest places.
Cjlhdevil (southernus cuntus)
The CJ is an unusual species, undecided between its habitats of London and Canada. One would think that, having parents which feather its nest somewhat, it is content in life. However, it is noted to fall out frequently with its nestmates, and prefers to migrate to seemingly dirtier climates such as Sheffielda Commona. The CJ, common name Jonnius Halia, can often be found frequenting its native forums during the early hours, annoying its American brother species with inflammatory twitterings.
f1manoz (australis wallabia sundalunda)
Specimen "f1man" is not native to Britain's shores; it emigrated from a colony for caged birds some time ago. Often found near local breweries, f1man lives off waste beer and rubbish. Has a mortal enemy in unidentified black species located in Midlands; nemesis is known to assault the f1man and make off with its property.
Problematique (whorea majora)
Resident UK crew female, often found wallowing in piles of once-worn clothes purchased from generic high street stores. Occasionally has a penchant for shit TV programmes and dislikes males who mark their territory with urine. Most commonly found to use the smiley Closest male companions are shop dummies.
Askari (caledonia rarus)
UK crew's longest serving scotsman, his presence apparent by sporadic and infrequent contributions, usually in the form of tongue in cheek put downs of his southern brethren. Grown men have been reduced to tears upon witnessing the lustre and vitality of his hair. Average sized genitals.
Pages in category "UK crew"
The following 3 pages are in this category, out of 3 total.
