Emfuser
From OTwiki
| This article is about a moderator. They're pretty much subservient fags. |
| Username: | Emfuser |
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Contents |
[edit] BIOGRAPHY
INTRODUCTION
Emfuser - killing joy since 1979, is a moderator on the Offtopic.com forum. His occupation is in the nuclear power business. Even when he was first born, nobody in the room was smiling, they were all frowning, but none of them could figure out why. An OT mod, Emfuser often posts lulz when he locks threads. The radiation has killed his braincells and stunted his growth.
MODERATOR
Emfuser has been a mod on OT for 8 years, as of 8-26-2010.
HOBBIES
Has been fencing for 13 years. The first 6 were basically untrained. The next 4 1/2 were with a club but were only so-so. The last 2 1/2 were with his current club in Augusta, GA.
[edit] KNOWN FOR
Beware, he will occasionally be taken with little man syndrome, lock threads for no reason, and whine about how OT hates him for no reason.
He is also known for merging popular posts or threads into one thread known as "mega threads" or "giant threads" which he believes helps clear up clutter. The threads are unfortunately ruined because by merging them all together, you cannot read through them coherently or follow them anymore since one thread follows the other and all the comments don't coincide.
[edit] CONSPIRACY THEORIES
It is believed by some that Emfuser is the user account all the other mods use to lock threads with, since an estimated 95% of thread locks come from the mod account Emfuser. Hence the terms, "that thread has been Emfusered". "If this thread doesn't stay on track, it will be Emfusered". "In before the Emfuser".
[edit] QUOTES FROM EMFUSER
ON BEING A MODERATOR
"I usually approach my job like a beat cop. I browse in and out of threads and deal with what I see unless something gives me a reason to start digging." -Emfuser
"Emfuser can be itchy when he gets under your skin." -Emfuser
"Take your complaints to the Front Desk or e-mail Fazle. I'm quite confident that my judgment and subsequent actions were correct." -Emfuser
"I trashed it, just like I do all the FB/myspace threads that contain personal information." -Emfuser
"There are plenty of trolls who believe in what they post. You can believe whatever you like, though." -Emfuser
"Had to delete it when I got tired of playing "find the nudes". Oh well." -Emfuser
"Get the fuck out of here with this shit. This isn't Stormfront." -Emfuser
"My boundaries are not that hard to figure out and I put a significant effort into being consistent". -Emfuser
"After Hours is just another thing that OT'ers fucked up for themselves." -Emfuser
"Never did understand why some people value post count." -Emfuser
"You know, I do have a job and some time-consuming hobbies that occupy my time." -Emfuser
"You didn't say goodbye to your stupidity fee; you just paid it upfront." -Emfuser
"You being insane is a problem that I can't fix." -Emfuser
"You post like a refugee from 4chan troll amateur hour." -Emfuser
"I told you... OT is a harsh place." -Emfuser
ON ANTI-PIRACY & RIIA SUPPORT
"Stealing (yes, downloading illegally) from the industry = bad. That nonsense of sharing those Magpul DVDs in here is embarrassing. I really expect better from the posters in this forum and that was pretty damn disappointing. Please don't do that in the future". -Emfuser
"Actually I do not download movies or music. I haven't done any of that for several years when I realized that every single excuse for doing so is rationalizing stealing". -Emfuser
WORDS OF WISDOM FROM EMFUSER
"Bed bugs take something like 2 years to starve to death, FYI." -Emfuser
"Squatting to shit > sitting" -Emfuser
"Fast food = garbage" -Emfuser
ON HIS CHILDHOOD
"Once, when I was a kid, I took a shit out of a second story bathroom window just because I felt like it." -Emfuser
ON AMERICA
"This just in: The majority of our population is dumb. Next up, the weather..." -Emfuser
ON SEX & WOMEN
"That's when you get a reversible vasectomy and blow loads in her on the regular while she's trying to get knocked up by you." -Emfuser
"I'd bust a fat load all over her cervix." -Emfuser
"The noises the women make ruin asian porn for me." -Emfuser
"She IS so average, but she's good at slutting herself out and making me want to rail her. I'd hit it." -Emfuser
"A fleshlight offers you a means to expose yourself to sexual stimulation that is much more analogous to sticking your penis inside a vagina than jerking off is. You use something like the fleshlight stamina training unit to adjust yourself to sexual stimulation. You can practice breathing, pace, etc with it. It will likely suit your need well if you use it as such an aid." -Emfuser
"You can use any water-based lube. Just buy the stamina training unit and use astroglide." -Emfuser
"I'd bust in her so hard that the creampie would leak out of her nose." -Emfuser
ON KILLING SOMEONE
"Carry a good pocketknife. I always have my benchmade on me. A blade through the spinal cord right at the base of the skull or the length of the neck would've ended that with a lot less mess than a shotgun would make." -Emfuser
[edit] QUOTES ABOUT EMFUSER
"Jesus Christ Emfuser, someone get him a pacifier already". -wait*what
"Worst mod on here for reals", "WORST MOD EVAR", "Emfuser is a faggot". -momentum
"emfusers will be the death of this country" -cooly
"What the fuck is this, naked pictures of a woman. NEVER FEAR! I WILL LOCK THIS THREAD!" -Maddz
"seriously fuck that eggheaded jew." -Sage Xaero
"what a killjoy" -Jcxzero
"Yeah hes turning down the one way path to shitty modville." -el gayvo
"Emfuser is too sensitive to be a mod." -icanbreakthesecuffs
"I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE BRINGING GOOD NWS THREADS TO OT, SO I'LL JUST LOCK THEM. fucking faggot." -infinite97
"This guy is a nuclear terrorist imo" -Atooraya
"He's definitely trigger happy, and apparently moody, since he seemingly locks threads at random." -frankelefritzsux
"homeboy needs some midol and a nap." -Full Blown Aids
"He needs to fill his thread lock and fun killing quota each day bro." -Corwin
"He's trying to earn his red orb bro." -Crankshaft
"CALL THE MODS, EMFUSER DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK." -Snoopy007
"Emfuser should be de-moded. IMHO" -QuickHitCurepon
"Emfuser is worse than all the moderators I've seen in the last 3 years, and I've seen some real motherfuckers. Although, Emfuser is bad in a cunning way." -QuickHitCurepon
"He's got to be the worst moderator on any forum in the United States." -QuickHitCurepon
"I'm sure he brags to all the ladies that he's a mod at OT." -Netbastard
"He created a giant thread of just craptastic posts done by quickhit." -Diesel66
"Emfuser stopped a war before it could start, for this he deserves a medal." (knittingchampion2010.jpg) -Snoopy007
"I imagine him to be somewhat like Homer.", "Actually I imagine him to be somewhat like Mr. Burns." -buttslut
"He's crafty like that." -SeedyRom
"Emfuser suck nuts." -Loryk
"Guess Emfuser is off sucking dick somewhere." -wait*what
"At least he'll be here tomorrow around noon to lock that thread with an unlinked nipple slip." -Tomash
"Emfuser, go back to your black panther forums, already. Fuck, you ruin so much funny shit." -fuckyou/payme
"Hell the way he locks threads i thought he was an ultramod." -Vinsanity
"Emfuser = Al Sharpton" -lateralus1082
"Emfuser=OTs bleeding heart liberal fag mod. True Story. At least he does his job though." -fuckyou/payme
"He must have been sexually molestered in the scouts." -GlassUser
"Yeah he is kind of a crybaby. He always jumps in and sticks up for people and shit and is just an overall narc shithead." -FINALBOSS
"Last I heard it's a tall warm glass of milk then off to bed at 8:30pm for Emfuser." -Ronald Reagan
"AWESOME THREAD - LOCK" -Mechwarrior3048
"Emfuser on point today!! Thanks for keeping us safe from those bad naughty pictures and that weed stuff!" -upparoom
"In comes Emfuser, the same person that claims to never download music or movies, or god forbid download copyrighted porn." -xpinchx
"He goes on these trolling sprees every now and then. Then wants people banned for being trolls." -GlassUser
"That faggot Emfuser needs to start playing WoW again." -Mace Windu
